Ranking & reviewing every XTC B-side

Are some XTC B-sides better than what a lot of bands put out on the regular?

Nov 22, 2022

In a 1991 review of Rag and Bone Buffet, Doug Mash claimed that some of XTC’s B-sides were so good “that other lesser bands would be proud to call [them] singles”.

Having been an obsessive XTC fan for many years, I am inclined to agree with this big talk. There are some B-sides, demos, and outtakes that I listen to just as often as the studio tracks. XTC’s unwavering ability to produce brilliant music, even when it comes to the throwaways, is one of the things that has cemented them as my favourite band of all time.

Recently, whilst putting off a hefty uni assignment, I started wondering what a list of my favourite XTC B-sides would look like. Then I started wondering how many B-sides they even had. So instead of opening the Google Document with my assignment, I created a new one and started to make a list of all of them. It wasn’t long before I felt like I had to rank every song.

This is quite the lengthy list, so I’ll spare you any more preamble. But firstly, before you inform me of a song I have missed out, let me lay out my ground rules and criteria for choosing what to rank and review on this list:

If the B-side is an album track, it will not be ranked (i.e. One of the Millions, The Smartest Monkeys.) This list is supposed to highlight the overlooked XTC tracks - most fans have listened to the albums, but B-sides are far more elusive. Hence why there’s also no Dukes of Stratosphear songs on this list - all the B-sides are just album tracks.
If the B-side is a demo, it will not be ranked - I intend to rank XTC demos separately at some point in the future. There will also hopefully be a separate list for outtakes/non studio tracks (i.e Traffic Light Rock, Wait Till Your Boat Goes Down.)
I am not counting extended versions or different cuts of a single for different formats (i.e 7 inch, 10 inch, 12 inch) as B-sides.
Live versions of studio tracks will not be counted. See previous point about album tracks.
‘How I’d Like That Came To Be’ and ‘How Easter Theatre Came To Be’ are not ranked because, well, they’re not songs!
Some of these are/have been released as singles (i.e Happy Families), but what puts them on this list is if they have been a B-side at some point.
I ultimately decided not to rank the Homo Safari series since they’re all fairly straightforward, repetitive instrumentals. But I did write some notes on each song and I’ve stuck them at the end of this list for completionism’s sake.
I probably have missed out something even after all of that, but I tried my best to compile everything based on Beeswax: Some B-Sides 1977-1982, Rag and Bone Buffet: Rare Cuts and Leftovers, Chalkhills.org, and traipsing through Discogs.

With all of that out of the way, happy reading. If you disagree vehemently with me, that’s okay! I am more than happy to argue with you. You’ll have to choose between paying for the five minutes or the full half hour, though.

33. Over Rusty Water [B-side to No Thugs In Our House, 1982]

A leftover cut from a dub album that was released under the moniker of ‘Mr Partridge’, stripped from the Drums and Wires track, Roads Girdle The Globe. The track meanders but really doesn’t do much more than that.

32. I Need Protection [B-side to Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen, 1980]

A droning, almost hypnotic song with a refrain that sinks its hooks into your brain, but unfortunately, that’s all it’s really got going for it. Otherwise, it’s fairly bland. Maybe it’s a good thing this was released under a pseudonym.

31. Cockpit Dance Mixture [B-side to Ball and Chain, 1982]

A dub reworking of my favourite song from English Settlement, Down in the Cockpit. It is quite danceable, and it’s interesting to hear different elements of the song dissected and brought to the front. But on the whole, I think I’d prefer to listen to the studio track.

30. Pulsing Pulsing [B-side to Making Plans for Nigel, 1979]

A strange little song ‘about blood and where it goes’, according to Andy Partridge. The song is over before it ever really begins, and more notably, before it can leave any sort of distinct impression on you.

29. Instant Tunes [B-side to Are You Receiving Me?, 1978]

A song whose B-side status you don’t really question. It’s a decent song, but the words ‘forgettable’ and ‘throwaway’ come to mind almost as instantly as the titular tunes.

28. Strange Tales, Strange Tails [B-side to Respectable Street, 1981]

This has been dubbed by Andy as one of the worst songs the band ever recorded, along with fellow Respectable Street B-side Officer Blue. Even though it was backing a Black Sea era single, it’s blatantly a leftover tune from the Go 2 sessions with its herky-jerky style and Are You Receiving Me?-esque rhythm. Is it as terrible as Andy makes it out to be? Not necessarily, but it certainly isn’t one of the stronger B-sides.

27. Dance Band [B-side to 3D-EP, 1977]

The keyboards are reminiscent of a SNES video game soundtrack, propelled along by a pseudo-ska rhythm. The chorus is catchy, but it’s probably the only part of the song worth mentioning.

26. Ella Guru [B-side to Mayor of Simpleton, 1989]

This is a cover of a Captain Beefheart song taken from the infamous Trout Mask Replica LP. Andy Partridge has been known to hold a deep admiration for both the album and its creator, hence why it makes sense that this cover feels completely faithful to the original - it sounds like somebody has listened to the song enough times to note down every detail of it. But whether or not Ella Guru is actually a good song is a debate for another time.

25. Heatwave [B-side to This Is Pop?, 1978]

I cannot deny that this song has some compelling instrumentation - it’s got the typical choppy rhythm that was a hallmark of the White Music era, and some grooves that could generously be described as funky. Colin’s vocals are incomprehensible though, and it’s probably for the best considering how silly and uninspired the lyrics are.

24. Officer Blue [B-side to Respectable Street, 1981]

This has been dubbed by Andy as one of the worst songs the band ever recorded, along with fellow Respectable Street B-side Strange Tales, Strange Tails. Sure, it’s not XTC at their finest, but it’s a long way away from being their worst song. There’s some decent melodies and interesting rhythms, even if the trumpet feels very misplaced. Officer Blue definitely feels worthy of its B-side status in every sense of the title.

23. Hang On To The Night [B-side to Statue of Liberty, 1978]

Basically a subpar version of Science Friction, right down to the frenetic keyboard solo. It’s a decent White Music era song, but otherwise fairly forgettable.

22. The Somnambulist [B-side to Ten Feet Tall, 1980]

A gentle if somewhat eerie song, softly pulled along by a looping bass drum tape. Appropriate for the song’s title and lyrical content, it makes you feel very drowsy. But unsurprisingly for a B-side, there’s not much more to it. What you see (hear?) is what you get.

21. Blue Overall [B-side to This World Over, 1984]

From The Big Express era, this is a strange song that fits in with the album’s larger-than-life production. It feels like the bare bones of a track, rather than something fleshed out - Andy’s experimenting with his vocal delivery and messing about with the Linn drum, a stalwart character of any eighties recording studio. But as with a lot of other B-sides, it doesn’t really go anywhere.

20. Red Brick Dream [B-side to All You Pretty Girls, 1984]

Incredibly atmospheric, Red Brick Dream conjures up images of industrial cities and trains pulling into stations amidst a billow of steam. According to Andy, it’s the only XTC song that explicitly mentions Swindon, and it’s clear that he has drawn from the band’s hometown in crafting the lyrics. It’s just a shame that it’s more of a sketch rather than a song.

19. Washaway [B-side to All You Pretty Girls, 1984]

With a piano that sounds almost vaudeville, Washaway is another snapshot of British life. It’s a theme that frequently runs through XTC’s songs, and in particular, The Big Express. Colin paints a lovely picture, but it’s a bit of a forgettable one. A fun romp that entertains you for its three minute run and nothing more.

18. Gold [B-side to Great Fire, 1983]

This song features some really nice guitar work and some interesting ideas, but when held in comparison to other Mummer era B-sides, it isn’t one of the stronger tracks.

17. Desert Island [B-side to Love On a Farmboy’s Wages, 1983]

This is one of those XTC songs that aurally matches the lyrics to a tee. The flamenco guitar is combined with a bouncy rhythm and what sounds like an accordion to create the sense of being stranded on a deserted island. It’s a silly but enjoyable song about the castaway life.

16. The Good Things [B-side to Mayor of Simpleton, 1989]

Andy may have joked about the quality of this song, but The Good Things wouldn’t be out of place on Oranges & Lemons, or even Nonsuch. Humming with a gentle melody and typical XTC harmonies, it's a pleasant listening experience.

15. Countdown To Christmas Party Time [B-side to Thanks For Christmas, 1983]

Probably one of the most eighties-sounding songs that XTC have ever put out. It’s got a bunch of synthesiser hooks and a funky rhythm courtesy of the Linn drum. Listening to it fills you with visions of the band miming to it on Top of the Pops in front of dancing teenagers. Ultimately, where you stand on this song depends on how you feel about dated production. Personally, I’m rather fond of Countdown To Christmas Party Time showing its age. But it’s understandable if you think it merely sounds like a Poundland Michael Jackson track.

14. The World Is Full Of Angry Young Men [B-side to The Loving, 1989]

With its jazzy arrangement and gentle rhythm, this song is one of the more subdued tracks, but it’s lovely to listen to. Even though it was a product of the Mummer sessions, the lyrics feel like an antidote to the ‘cynical trilogy’ Colin had written for Oranges & Lemons.

13. Blame the Weather [B-side to Senses Working Overtime, 1982]

There are many stars in this song: the bass line, hummable chorus, the ‘dry up, dry up’ backing vocals of the bridge. Blame the Weather is ripe with Colin Moulding’s trademark knack for melody, and even though it may not have slotted seamlessly onto English Settlement, it’s a solid song in its own right.

12. She’s So Square [B-side to Science Friction, 1977]

I am quite harsh on the pre-Dave Gregory years of XTC, but I think She’s So Square is an exception. The herky-jerky rhythms of this song, complete with frantic keys and spiky guitars, make you unable to do anything but bop your head along to the music. In particular, the ‘woo-ooh-oohs’ are fun to sing along to.

11. Jump [B-side to Wonderland, 1983]

A peaceful, acoustic song that blends in with the pastoral themes of Mummer. Personally, it is this XTC fan’s opinion that Jump is stronger than some of the songs that made it to the actual album.

10. Tissue Tigers (The Arguers) [B-side to Senses Working Overtime, 1982]

This B-side tumbles and gallops with big Hugh Padgham-style drums. There’s also some clever feline/animalistic themed wordplay in Andy’s lyrics, and they’re immensely fun to sing along to. Virtually all the English Settlement B-sides are excellent, and this is no exception.

9. Limelight [B-side to Chain of Command, 1979]

A fast paced song driven by sharp, angular electric guitars and Colin’s thrumming bass. It’s bread and butter new wave/post punk, but it’s also definitely one of the stronger XTC B-sides. A good song choice to name your fanzine after.

8. Smokeless Zone [B-side to Generals and Majors, 1980]

A frenetic, frenzied song about polluted London neighbourhoods that feels like the aural equivalent of a crowded city street. The Black Sea era saw the band put out some of their most rock-heavy songs, and this is one of them. The guitar is sublime and you can’t help but sing along to the ‘bah bah bahs’. Smokeless Zone also features an excitable harmonica player, whom if I had to guess, was probably Andy.

7. Living in a Haunted Heart [B-side to Mayor of Simpleton, 1989]

This song has a very minimal arrangement: a drum machine, acoustic guitar, and Andy’s vocals. But in some ways, the sparse musical landscape reflects the heartache that throbs throughout the lyrics. Sometimes less is more, and Living in a Haunted Heart reflects that. Simple but beautiful.

6. Toys [B-side to Love On a Farmboy’s Wages, 1983]

Another XTC song to feature the harmonica hero, Toys has all the best parts about XTC: a great sense of melody and harmony, clever lyrics, as well as a chorus that sticks in your brain like glue. It’s also one of the last XTC songs to feature Terry Chambers on drums, and it’s certainly a strong farewell.

5. Don't Lose Your Temper [B-side to Generals and Majors, 1980]

Slightly questionable lyrics aside, it’s clear that the magic of Black Sea extended to its B-sides. An upbeat, head-bopping romp, it features some lovely guitar work and would have sounded great live. Another fantastic snapshot of how tight XTC sounded when they were at the peak of touring.

4. Happy Families [B-side to King For A Day, 1989]

A B-side that has all the polish of a proper track, because it was. Happy Families was featured on the soundtrack to the John Hughes film She’s Having a Baby, later featured on Rag and Bone Buffet. The song swells and sings with intricate melodies and harmonies that weave together to create an incredibly catchy tune. It also has Andy’s trademark clever wordplay, using the titular British card game as a basis for some interesting observations about nuclear families. All in all, it’s quintessential XTC.

3. Punch and Judy [B-side to Ball and Chain, 1982]

With its commentary on contemporary British society and playful rhythm, Punch and Judy would have fit perfectly onto English Settlement. It’s a slice of pop perfection that clocks in under three minutes. Regardless of whether you listen to the B-side version or the unused single version, both are shining examples of the band’s craft at their finest.

2. Extrovert [B-side to Grass, 1986]

A song about being drunk that, appropriately, Andy sings completely sloshed. (And you can tell around 0:38.) Yet somehow, this does not deter Extrovert from being a standout B-side. It’s got a soaring melody accentuated by punchy guitars and horns, accompanied by infuriatingly catchy hooks: “I feel like someone else / yes I do, yes I do, yes I do!” “Eeeeeeextrooovert!” Combined, these ingredients perfectly encapsulate the looseness and bursting overconfidence that comes with one drink too many.

1. Heaven is Paved With Broken Glass [B-side to Ball and Chain, 1982]

Here it is, the best XTC B-side of all time according to this humble fan’s opinion. All of the English Settlement B-sides are wonderful, but this feels like a cut above the rest. The song meshes the experimental with the accessible: backwards instruments and strange sounding guitars meet infectious melodies. It’s a song that keeps you guessing, and with its almost otherworldly sound, it makes sense that it doesn’t fit in sonically with the rest of English Settlement. Nevertheless, it’s a shame more people haven’t heard this song.

And lastly, some notes on the Homo Safari series…

Homo Safari [B-side to Life Begins At The Hop, 1979; #1 in the Homo Safari series]
The first B-side in a series of six instrumentals. It has some nice breaks that are almost jazz fusion-esque.
Bushman President [B-side to Making Plans for Nigel, 1979; #2 in the Homo Safari series]
The second B-side in a series of six instrumentals. My predominant memory of this is its use as a background track during Andy Partridge’s 1980 tour of Swindon.
Egyptian Solution (Thebes in a Box) [B-side to Senses Working Overtime, 1982; #3 in the Homo Safari series]
The third B-side in a series of six instrumentals. Very funky. Very repetitive.
Mantis on Parole [B-side to Wake Up, 1985; #4 in the Homo Safari series]
The fourth B-side in a series of six instrumentals. Interestingly, it’s one of the few things XTC have done that Andy has said he’d disown. Personally, I love its bass lines, which have clearly taken a leaf out of Jaco Pastorius’s book.
Frost Circus [B-side to Great Fire, 1983; #5 in the Homo Safari series]
The fifth B-side in a series of six instrumentals. I like how it aurally feels ‘cold’. It would fit right in as the background music to an ice-themed level in some sort of RPG game.
Procession Leaning Towards Land [B-side to Great Fire, 1983; #6 in the Homo Safari series]
The sixth and final B-side in a series of six instrumentals. This has always been one of my least favourite XTC tracks, sadly. I feel like this is what the inside of my brain sounds like when I’m struggling to understand something.